He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
