Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
