hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
