I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
