She's JV to your varsity
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
