Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
