This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
