I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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