how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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