Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Farmville is her only friend.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
