Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
