why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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