just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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