She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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