He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
