everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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