someone get that fucking seahorse.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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