Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
