He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
