I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
