Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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