Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
