Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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