This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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