if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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