So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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