So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
