Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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