I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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