Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
