So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
