she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
