if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
do herpes really smell.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
