You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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