well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
