he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
