To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
