Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
