did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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