Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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