I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Randomize
