ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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