I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My life is pants optional.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
