The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
