Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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