What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
