Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
