meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
