Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
