So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize