No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
is it fun? or sober?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
