I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
