Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
