No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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