why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
