My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
