Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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