i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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