Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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