Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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