Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
