For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
