hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
