Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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