tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
