I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
