where am i from again
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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